I’m spending a lot more time on the main floor of the bookstore I work at. Which means that I get to see the new books when they come in, and I get to fit them into their respective sections. The same goes for ringing up customers. I so often see a book I haven’t explored yet and go “Wow, this looks interesting!”
In other words…I spend most of my paycheck on books. It’s a real problem.
On occasion, I see some weird stuff. Because there are some weird books out there. Here are a couple I’ve seen recently.Mort[e] by Robert Repino.
The “war with no name” has begun, with human extinction as its goal. The instigator of this war is the Colony, a race of intelligent ants who, for thousands of years, have been silently building an army that would forever eradicate the destructive, oppressive humans. Under the Colony’s watchful eye, this utopia will be free of the humans’ penchant for violence, exploitation and religious superstition. The final step in the Colony’s war effort is transforming the surface animals into high-functioning two-legged beings who rise up to kill their masters.
Former housecat turned war hero, Mort(e) is famous for taking on the most dangerous missions and fighting the dreaded human bio-weapon EMSAH. But the true motivation behind his recklessness is his ongoing search for a pre-transformation friend—a dog named Sheba. When he receives a mysterious message from the dwindling human resistance claiming Sheba is alive, he begins a journey that will take him from the remaining human strongholds to the heart of the Colony, where he will discover the source of EMSAH and the ultimate fate of all of earth’s creatures.
Yep…..a militarized cat…fighting an army of super intelligent ants…
This is a real book. It makes me so curious. Like, how did the author come up with this? Why a cat? Why ants? Just…what? Why?
Although, if you think about it…it’s a little like what Animal Farm did. Anthropomorphized animals reenacting real political events and ideas. And we all had to read that in high school right? It wasn’t weird because it was required. All for getting a book about cats rising up to fight super intelligent ants into school required reading lists, say aye!
Holy Cow: A Modern Day Dairy Tale by David Duchovny
Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that—her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer’s family gathered around a bright Box God—and what the Box God reveals about something called an “industrial meat farm” shakes Elsie’s understanding of her world to its core.
There’s only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry—excuse me, Shalom—a cranky, Torah-reading pig who’s recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can’t fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport.
Elsie is our wise-cracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom—who does eventually learn to fly (sort of)—dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. David Duchovny’s charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.
Yep…that David Duchovny. X-Files David Duchovny. Mulder David Duchovny. Mulder went and wrote his own crazy X-Files episode. With a cow as the protagonist. And also a Jewish pig and an iPhone-toting turkey.
Another modern day Animal Farm? Or is Duchovny just plain having fun with some animals he saw grazing in a field one day?
Now, I don’t mean “weird,” in a bad way. I think it’s awesome that these stories exist! It’s proof of the vast capacity of human imagination. Of the infinite possibilities in fiction. When I read aloud the descriptions of these books to coworkers as I put them away, we were delighted in their absurdity.
What about you? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve heard of, even read? What do you think about the absurd? The ridiculous?